O suki desu ka?

Nyaaaa

I don't really know why I'm making an entry, as I don't really have anything to say. And my typing has become heavily dyslexic o.O;;

...well, okay, technically I do, but none of it's important, and I always feel really stupid for making these useless entries, because I, for some reason, anticipate comments even when there's no cause for them, and then I just get disappointed...

Um, lesse. In English, we're talking about The Death of Ivan Ilyich, and... uh... it's really a depressing work, lol.

Before class, though, I was re-reading Faust (because, so sue me, I love that play) and laughing at the 'banter' between Faust and Mephistopheles... It's, like, Eike and Homunculus, only with Eike less Eike-ish. Faust is less tolerant of Mephistopheles than Eike is of Homunculus, even when Mephistopheles has more... obvious cause, shall we say?

Oh! I know. It similar to when Homunculus first physically appeared to Eike, and Eike responded badly... That's basically Faust and Mephistopheles most of the time, lol.

Still, Faust is being quite the fool, getting all caught up in his romance with Margaret/Gretchen (yes, they're the same person, just called different names...) that he forgets that not only do they have stuff to do, but also that Mephistopheles gave him what he wanted, so the least Faust could do is not shoo him away like a common servant...

I'm a little bitter that Homunculus is omitted from this version of Faust... Uh, not the Homunculus from Shadow of Memories, though the personalities are very similar (especially when dealing with Dr. Wagner...) Maybe it's because Homunculus runs off with his cute/handsome boyfriend to some island, where they live happily ever after? Mmm, possibly.

...or page constraints...

... I think it's the boyfriend thing, lol.

Gonna watch a movie tonight in Meterology. But first we're going over the questions for Chapter 7... I have to do mine still, but it's mostly just drawing and labelling, so it shouldn't be a big problem.

Hopefully, I'll get out somewhat early, because I have to make two assignments for Creative Writing tomorrow. I came in last week without anything, so I have to 'make-up' one. Mrr. Which, of course, means I'm going to have no choice but to be online...

Now, don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't WANT to come online. More that I'm probably going to be tired, and just not very... er... smart, I guess you could say. Illegible, almost, lol.

In any case, I don't quite know when I'll be on, but I'm probably going to petition for when my sister goes to bed, which is around 10, 10:30 my time... (though it has been known to take her a good hour to actually remove herself from the computer...)

So, anyway, I'm off to get some food, because someone has the audacity to be in the computer lab slobbering over a giant submarine sandwich and getting their surrounding area... well... yeah. Ick. I'm gonna be polite and eat where I'm supposed to...

Since I have so few people reading, at least I don't have to 'private' my journal...

Oh the pain of artist's block.

I just can't get anything done. Herman's being very insistent, as you can imagine, to get something done, and I just. can't. do. it.

Granted, I want to create new characters, and not just draw a picture of an already made character... but...

MRF! I just don't think I have any creativity anymore >.<; Maybe my problem is that I'm 'creating' to appease people.

... you probably don't get what I mean.

What I means is that I'm not making characters *I* would like. Instead, I'm aiming for a group of characters that other people would be interested in. That's all I want: a group of characters that people would WANT to draw fanart for, write fanfiction for...

I don't like having to beg for fanart/fanfiction from people. It makes me feel bad, because then it feels like I'm just being pushy, and that I don't appreciate anything.

But then again, I've never made a character that I've had willing fan submissions for. Unless I've totally missed someone's intent, but I've always thought that people were just drawing my characters because either I asked for them, or just because, you know, the characters are somehow associated with me...

Stay with me on this... I'd rather have people not care about me, and instead really like my characters, than really care about me.

Many of you can't tell, I guess, but I do not like myself, even in the slightest. I find myself to be quite useless, and actually a burden on others. I can't really DO anything. I can't add anything that can't just be added by someone else. I have no input in society...

Which is probably why I live!roleplay all the time. The way I see it, why be myself (who is boring and lacking good use) when I can be characters who have so many friends, and get exciting lives, and have SKILLS?! There's really no comparison, actually.

Now... if only I could actually roleplay on par with my friends... I'm really quite bad at that. My execution is ALL wrong. Ugh. I'll have great plans for a scene, but because I just can't follow through, it ends up being totally awful, and lacking the impact that I had wished.

Yes. I know I'm complaining. Yes. I know I'm probably not being realistic. Yes. I know I've probably got SOME use, and maybe I just haven't found it yet. But all that's not important.

What's important is that I just don't SEE THAT.

So. Since I have a bit of time until class, I'm probably going to be poking and prodding at 'writing' and maybe I'll just end up spamming any friend's list I'm on. But, please, try to bear with me.

This is the sound... of my soul...

Series: Original series, Rebels
Pairing(s): major mention of Hikaru/Rin, mention of Soushi/Kaila
Category: One-shot
Warning(s): um, sap. This is rather fuwafuwa (fluffy). Oh, and mention of masturbation. Yasunari's a pervert.
Misc: '...' means quotes being referred to. *....* means thoughts.

( On with... the story. Also known as: What? She's trying again? )

>:F ::fang::

::bangs head against desk:: =_=;; I am SO tired right now. I want to go to bed, I honestly do. But at the same time, I have to write something for that crappy class.

Dammit.

I hate that class so much. Around as much as I hate my history class.

K'so. I can't come in another class without something >.<; But I just feel like I CAN'T submit anything that will get any sort of positive recognition.

IT'S TOO FRUSTRATING! >.<;;;;;;