belltrigger: (nap)
Beer and swine. Best. Day. Ever. )
belltrigger: (Ellis)
to get riled up in the early morning )
belltrigger: (ruserious?)
A rescue signal going off in all directions )
belltrigger: (Carlos)
On your knees! )
belltrigger: (Argh!)
Man, I need a new job. Every day, I don't want to go in. U_U My stomach hurts just thinking about having to go into this place. The people are pretty nice (though I don't really like my manager - I feel like he's always judging everything I do), but I just can't handle the job anymore.

... so I'm looking elsewhere. D< Sadly, I'm unable to quit this stupid place until I get a different place ... or so says my parents. Grr. D< So, I'm looking as fast as I can, because I can't stand this place anymore.

I'm tired of not wanting to do anything when I come home. I'm tired of not having the energy or interest to do things that I really love, like playing games or watching anime. I don't even have the time to discuss Heroes with my friends at work anymore.

Oh yes. I'm also sick and tired of people thinking Samsung is a Japanese company. IT'S NOT, OKAY???? I see customers all the time saying "How would you like it if I stood out on the street with flyers about how Japanese companies are not treating me right?" and I'm like "Well, I don't think SAMSUNG WOULD CARE." Or, how about this...? When I told a customer that Samsung was actually a Korean company, and not a Japanese company, a customer said "... Oh? Really?? Man, and they're usually nicer than the Japanese" ...???? Or, a letter I just got recently. This customer was complaining about how his experience with Samsung was not a good one. He then proceeds to bring up Toyota and Honda, and goes on about how he's certain that their policies are nothing like Samsung's. ......... Well, DUH. First off, they're a car company, and Samsung is an electronics company. And secondly, they're companies from DIFFERENT COUNTRIES. I'm sure there are bound to be differences!!

..................... ::DEEPBREATH:: Okay, I'm feeling better. There are just so many things about this job that frustrate me =A=;;; Hopefully, I can find something new, soon.

WTF.

Nov. 11th, 2006 09:43 pm
belltrigger: (Argh!)
The following is probably an incoherent rant about my horrible horrible sister. Please don't read if you don't want to. It's just me venting and hating on her. It's not productive, except to let off steam.... oh, and to further encourage people in the pursuit of the knowledge that she should be commited T_T.

Rant about my sister )
belltrigger: (peaceful desu)
hn. Just got back from the deli, and figured, hell, I might as well, you know, catch up anyone who cares :/

Got an AMP energy drink (which, consequently, tastes like slurpees, gummi bears, and something else I can't identify) and some twizzlers. The sugar high hasn't hit yet... though I usually don't get them o.O

Saw a heron, y0. He was standing stock still, like I he thought I couldn't see him ^^;

Hopefully, despite being the terrible slacker I am, Trey-chan will be proud to know that I have actually drawn a full body picture of Llwydwyn (pronounced 'Hu wi do win'), and a mostly full pic of Robin. I've also been actually planning out stuff about them, though I still don't know what illness Robin could have x.x;

I still have to fill out the questionnaire, but I'm looking for it now, so it should probably be done soon.

And if Trey-chan draws Llwydwyn, she'd probably make him cuter than I can XD; Which is good, because he's SUPPOSED to be cute... (though I wonder if she'll like his fashion sense... XD; )

::looks up:: for some reason, my cat has decided to sit on my monitor ^^; I hope he doesn't do like he used to, and drape his arm/paw down in front of the screen :3;; Oh, too late, he already did...

Watched all(most) of Slayers NEXT. I really do miss the old days where I'd play Xelloss and Phibrizio and Xelas when Hawk would play Dynast and Deep Sea Dolphin and Lina... and Gourry too, I think. No one ever wanted to play Gaav/Garv XD; Though I think we ended up asking J-chan to... (even while he played Valgaav/Valgarv and Zelgadis)

I was, uh, fangirling Ishida-sama again :3;; Oh, and laughing my ass off at Hikaru-san/Zelgadis as he instructed Lina and Amelia in the 'spell' XDDD

Though... as usual, I became angered at how L-sama, as wise and wonderful as she is, seems to really dislike the Mazoku >>; I mean, Lina being her favorite aside, L-sama really disfavors the Mazoku, doesn't she? They never catch a break ^^; Maybe it's just because they're, for the most part, after Lina...

... or maybe I just sympathise with Phibrizio too much >>;;

And, of course, I still wonder why a picture of Sylphiel takes up four tapes of the series, and yet... well... She's hardly in it o.O; In fact, it seems she's only in the last tape! :o

... yes, I don't really, uh, think that much of Sylphiel. No, I don't hate her, she just doesn't hold any of my interest. (that and I think Gourry is better with Lina >>; )

Just left Oeilvert in FF9. I am trying to get back to Treno because I hunger for cards... And I want to buy the Magical Fingertip that has yet to appear... And I want to beat the monster in the Knight's house before I switch over to disc 4. ... Damn you Kuja. Damn your I'msoobviouslygayandyetIforsomereasonlustafterGarnet ways >.<; ( I mean COME ON. Kuja liking a chick is as... rare as Toriya liking a chick. Not gonna happen!) Damn your stealing Eiko. Damn your silver dragon that looks green. Damn you for upsetting Vivi.

... uh. :D; Haa... sorry.

Glad to have Steiner back in mah posse~ He kicks serious ass, especially when teamed with Vivi. But, I'm sadly at that point where I have to swith people around and decide who I want to use, and I'm very indecisive when it comes to selecting characters...

Hm. I don't know why I like Hakobune, but I know why I like SPIRIT WAY. Because the music sounds like FF9 music. I had thought it sounded familiar when I first heard it... It's very similar to Gizamaluke's Grotto, I think...

....SP'RITU WAY~~~! ...

... s'rry.

hn. Just as I finally get off my slacker ass and draw something, my scanner fritzes. >.<; Damn him! Maybe it's waiting for the art of Brazowy .... u.u;;;

::beats Brazowy:: >.<; He's my trouble-maker, as far as character development goes. Maybe Herman has something against him... Or maybe Herman is preoccupied with Xellos o.O; In ANY case, other than a few things I've learned about Brazowy, I don't know all that much T.T;;

I think Verweile Doch! will either be my official Eike voice... or my official Nagumo voice... Hell, maybe it can be both! I mean, Eike's German. And the song has a kindof Nagumo feel to it...

Though it'd be weird having Nagumo have a German titled song when Toriya is the only one with German blood in 'im...

OOOOOKAAAY. The AMP is kicking in now, I think :D;;; I want to DO stuff, but, uh, people in my house are still sleeping desu >>; And I already went walking. ;.; I wish people would go to a mall with me.... ::SOB:: Like... N-chan. Though she probably has better things to do than just amble around a dumb ol' mall with me :D;; I mean... I just want to GO, you know? I don't want to actually do anything. Maybe scope for job openings...

My mom wouldn't go u.u; She doesn't like going anywhere in the first place, let alone to a mall. Mrf. And I can't say to her "I just want to walk around and stuff." cause she is not of the getting it. (... yes. I meant to say it that way o.O; )

Unfortunately, I have lost N-chan's number, so I cannot even call and try to see if she is available u.u; Woe is me. And I don't want to ask 'her' because the annoying fiance will probably come >.<; And I dun wanna go with Mike cause, uh, he's a guy. And doing something girly like hanging out at a mall is NOT something I wanna do with him ^^;; Especially after our whole 'I'm like Shinichi and he's like Hattori' thingy. I.E. friends/I'malwaysrightevenwhenhetriestobetheonewho'sright thingy.

So. I'm stuck, I guess... YES. I only have three rl friends T.T So what?!

u.u; No, I don't know why it's that way. Though... I am pretty damn elitist... ha... yeah. Maybe that's why... NAH! There's just hardly any cool people where I live! >:D

...

^^;; Okay. I hold grudges. That's a problem :3; I won't even REALIZE I'm holding a grudge until I wince at a person >>; I'll just think of a person and be all ">.x;" Which, I guess, means that if I don't like you... I stay not liking you.

You know, it only takes a well-drawn fanart to throw you back into a fandom. u.u; Yeah, I'm back on my Xel/Zel, Zel/Xel kick >>; Dammit. All for a fanart by bgeezus on dA >>;; Of course, I follow her livejournal too (and share her crazy love of Ishida Akira) but STILL. I had KILLED that side of Herman ^^; What with my Zel/Amelia-ness.... But I guess it ressurected...

...with a vengeance >>; I need to draw Xel. He is, after all, my muse's idol! He's the reason Herman mutated... er, I mean, changed (too much Persona >>; ). He apparently inherited Xel's need to harass Hawkee and really like Ser-chan ^^; Poor Hawkee!

hmmmmmmm. I wish my scanner would work so that I could color Llwydwyn... grey. ^^; Yeah, his name means 'grey' in Celtic, and uh, that means he's got to be all grey. Grey hair AND clothes... I'm sure I can work it out! >3 Or maybe I'll just wait until Trey-chan draws Llwydwyn and color THAT. hahahaha. I really would rather color her art. It's always so clean and pretty ;.; Much nicer than mine.. Only cause I'll screw up my art when I outline it and color it. But she always cleans up her stuff really well x.x; rawrgh.

... Even though I'm sure I have more to say, I've probably talked too much already >>;;

Mrf!

Jul. 9th, 2004 01:10 pm
belltrigger: (peaceful desu)
Yeah. So I was kidnapped (also known as: forced to be social) by April. She caught me at the bank (where she works).

She dragged me to her house so that I could see the wonder that is Final Fantasy 11 up close and personal. Hm. If I could afford it, I would get a lil silver-haired TaruTaru and name it Rin >:3 Or a really tall platinum-haired Elvaan bishonen and name it Nagumo.... Or get the lil uke Elvaan boy and name it Spear. Harhar.

Also found out that she WAS going to go to Otakon, but instead went to Florida and got engaged...

Now, that's all fine and good (ignoring she's only four days older than me. Yes, my best friend since 4th grade is only four days older than me ^^; ) except for the fact that it's to a guy I CANNOT stand T.T; To be completely honest, that is why I have been avoiding her for, uh, the past two years :D; And why I am iffy about calling her my best-friend now (I mean... come on, we have not really seen each other for 2 years).

He is very rude and insulting towards anything to do with the Japanese language. He says things like "if you're just going to listen to gibberish, you might as well do it with any language" !!!!!! >.<; HATE.

Also, and I have not told her this (because I honestly think she would value his opinion over anything I had to say), I think he is very degrading. He seems to treat her like she is an idiot. Now, uh, she's not smart when it comes to some things, I'll openly agree with that. But EVERYONE has things they are not good at >.<;

And the thing that pissed me off the most is that he transfers his 'you're a girl and therefore know nothing of electronics (including simple things like ps2)' onto ME.

T.T

Har. That's the (actually, one of many) very reason I broke up with he-who-shall-not-be-named. Hawk, you know who I speak of. T.T Treated me like a damn woman who could do nothing! >.<;

Look, I don't want to be treated as a guy. Okay? Let's get that straight right now. I'm not strong enough physically to be treated as an all-out guy. But, I certainly don't want to be treated like a chick (who is a moron and cannot do anything for herself, especially) even more than that. I just want to be treated as SHANNON. Work with (or don't) MY personality, and not my bloody gender T.T

You get in trouble when you do that.

Anyway. So I was also thrown for a loop when she wanted me to actually participate in the wedding X.X; That means I have to actually wear a dress >.<; Dammit. She wants me to be... uh... dammit, what's the opposite of Best Man?

Well, at least it's not the first wedding I've been in. After all, I was the flower girl at my parent's wedding (Yeah, I'm an official, literal 'bastard'... )

But. Eh. Well, I suppose I'll have to. I pretty much already said yes x.x;

In other news, my mom keeps telling me I should stop this 'rivalry' I have with my brother because I am not a boy :3;;;;; To be honest, when he's not being a prick over anime, I get along decently with him. We play video games together, and fight over who gets the biggest portion of food.

.... what? Is that really how brothers act?

So, anyway, I think I'm gonna go now. Maybe. I have a hankering to draw an oekaki, but ugh. I'm not good at it anymore (was I ever? No.) and I don't know what I want to draw x.x;

And I've got FF9 to get back to. Yeah, I started over again, and just got to Burmecia. I want Steiner back! ;.; My final party ALWAYS includes Zidane, Vivi, and Steiner. ALWAYS. I cycle out the fourth member all the time XD; I sometimes have Eiko, or Amarant, or Freya, or Quina... I avoid Dagger cause she's just about useless.

Eiko does almost everything Dagger does, and is way cuter. And doesn't get 'depressed' in the middle of the game, refusing to fight! x.x; It's fine that she's depressed, but since you HAVE to use her, it gets very irritating. At that point, she's just about the only healer you have (other than items) and she barely does anything, acts slowly, and will blatantly refuse your commands sometimes! >.<;

Granted, I like Dagger more than Yuna, but my dislike for Yuna is only because I think she's pretty darn ugly (she's not like all the other main FF girls ;.;) and I HATE her dub voice.

It has nothing to do with my standard "ewww, it's dubbed, take it away" reflex. No, it's that the Yuna voice actress cannot act. Even when Yuna is actually being tough, the voice actress still has her talking very mousy, and weak, and just... not what I would imagine.

Oh, but I'll never play FFX-2. NEVER. If I could not stand Yuna in FFX, why would I play a game where she's the main character? Though, if you could switch her OUT, I would play... Cause there's a really cute guy in it >>; And I like Rikku.

But, for me, none of the games will ever beat FF7 and FF9. Though... FF12 does look promising... The main boy is very cute! >:3 Vaguely reminds me of Hikaru, yes he does.

....

Since I'm probably bothering you all with my useless rant, I think I'll stop for now :D;;;
belltrigger: (rawr.)
~.~

Is it time for Otakon yet? ... no? Damn. Yeah. Wanna see Trey-chan. I haven't been online to see her much ~.~; Partially because for about a week my mom and sister monopolized the computer and I got caught up in playing Legend of Dragoon again. And secondly from cleaning my room up.

Nnn. Haven't felt like being online for a good while. There's nothing for me to do ~.~ And I only really ever talk to Trey-chan anymore. Sometimes Mike, but not as often.

I haven't updated DeviantArt recently. Well, except for the Samurai Shuu picture. It doesn't help that I just... don't have to urge right now to color Mafuyu (my new Samurai 'project' ) Granted, I'm having color problems, so that's slowing me down quite a bit as well.

~.~ I have to get Petshop of Horrors volume 6.

And, sadly, the bastards at Cartoon Network/Adult Swim have dubbed Detective Conan. I'm telling you, as soon as I actually GET an anime to watch (even though I have wanted Detective Conan for years now), they dub it >.<; Which is starting to make me wonder if the Adult Swim people are watching me and just dubbing things now to piss me off T.T; They call Detective Conan (The real title, which is ENGLISH) "Case Closed" ... wtf. And instead of Shinichi Kudou, they call him "Jimmy Kudou" .... If they're going to keep his Japanese last name, why the bloody hell do they have to change his first name T.T; Bastards.

Yeah. I'm usually not this angry sounding online because I try to sound at least civil about things, but I have a headache and I'm very bored, so I guess I'm not being as civil...

Or maybe I always sound like that.... Hn. Ah well.

Ugh. This is my standard 'Beginning of Summer blues' ~.~ I always get very negative and blech about things when summer starts. That's why I had decided to just video-game for the first week or so. Unfortunately, that just stalled my attitude drop until now >.<;

...hn. I think I'll take a walk to the Cranberry Deli tomorrow and buy some ice cream or something. Bring my art supplies and my cd player and I could sit up on the big rocks overlooking the lake---

>.<; I forgot. I have to go into the college tomorrow and get the stupid forms all filled out T.T I really want to find a way to just SKIP the graduation ceremony but still get my diploma. I HATE Graduation ceremonies, I've already had three for crying out loud. Nevermind that I hate CCM so much I don't want to get involved with it T.T;

Return of the King has so many sad parts in it ;.; And Pippin sings very nicely ;.; I like his outfit from about the middle of the movie... Can't say much more cause that's, like, spoilers... :/

~.~ Sorry for sounding so aggravated in this entry, especially after not writing for so long, but things have just not been... satisfactory T.T; Nor interesting to outside parties...

Damn, I had been so good about not spamming people x.x; Ah well.
belltrigger: (I R TEH SAD)
Okay, so Chinese class has been cancelled. As such, I have to wait out an hour or so until my dad automatically comes back to the school. :/ Luckily, that's just enough time for me to get stuff done on the computer.

And, dammit, I forgot my library books x.x; I'll have to bring them back tomorrow, I guess.

Note to self, I must finish Wild Arms 2 sometime this year x.x; I want to know what happens with Billy ;.; BradxBilly forever, yo. (Besides, I have to finish WA2 before I start WA3 :D;; )

Also, I have to somehow convince my dad to get me Cyber Formula Zero. T.T; I must MUST see Henri-kun. Cute lil bratty French race car driver that he is...

Gotta write something for Creative Writing. I'm thinking... guy/girl in a mental ward. One of those really creepy ones, where the person really IS insane, but honestly thinks they are not (mmm, creep factor) TwT because I like that sorta thing. Hehehe, it'll be a subtle poke at the class, and I bet NO ONE will get it <3

Nyaaa, art has been eluding me. I just can't get anything drawn ;.; Well, okay, scratch that... I can't get anything DECENT done. Sure, I can draw ugly little blah scribbles, but beyond that... It doesn't help that I've been looking through all of my pretty Kaimu Tachibana doujinshi (including the autographed one *.*) and knowing that I can never draw/watercolor as well as she can ;.; ::SAD::

::kicks dA account:: rawr! x.x; I haven't posted anything good in a long time. >_>; I also want to clean it out and get rid of pictures I don't like X.x; Oh! But yenreit has appeared again! She hasn't commented on my stuff for a while, so I was wondering where she went :o

Hrn. Whenever I try to write a story, I feel as if I could better portray it with art. And when I try to draw, I feel I could do better with words >.<; Why is Herman screwing with me like this? Is it because I haven't drawn Rin in a really long time? (Not my fault. Ever since Rebels ended, he's been in that damn hangar and I can't get him out >.<; J-CHAN! TASUKETE!)

I think for the first week of summer vacation, I'm just going to play video games. Nothing else. NOTHING. I'll stock food up in my room, only leaving to go to the bathroom (and MAYBE check my e-mail). I'll finish a bunch that I have been putting off, like Wild Arms 2, Star Ocean 2, Lunar 2, Clock Tower 3, and maybe Suikoden 3, though I'm not as far in that as I am in WA2 or SO2...

:x ah well, I think I'll head out to the cafeteria now, and hope that my dad and brother have shown up now :D; if not, I shall attempt to draw something x.x; as well as switch my cd...(has finished an entire disk of WA2 sound track...)
belltrigger: (army Suoh-chan)
Oh the pain of artist's block.

I just can't get anything done. Herman's being very insistent, as you can imagine, to get something done, and I just. can't. do. it.

Granted, I want to create new characters, and not just draw a picture of an already made character... but...

MRF! I just don't think I have any creativity anymore >.<; Maybe my problem is that I'm 'creating' to appease people.

... you probably don't get what I mean.

What I means is that I'm not making characters *I* would like. Instead, I'm aiming for a group of characters that other people would be interested in. That's all I want: a group of characters that people would WANT to draw fanart for, write fanfiction for...

I don't like having to beg for fanart/fanfiction from people. It makes me feel bad, because then it feels like I'm just being pushy, and that I don't appreciate anything.

But then again, I've never made a character that I've had willing fan submissions for. Unless I've totally missed someone's intent, but I've always thought that people were just drawing my characters because either I asked for them, or just because, you know, the characters are somehow associated with me...

Stay with me on this... I'd rather have people not care about me, and instead really like my characters, than really care about me.

Many of you can't tell, I guess, but I do not like myself, even in the slightest. I find myself to be quite useless, and actually a burden on others. I can't really DO anything. I can't add anything that can't just be added by someone else. I have no input in society...

Which is probably why I live!roleplay all the time. The way I see it, why be myself (who is boring and lacking good use) when I can be characters who have so many friends, and get exciting lives, and have SKILLS?! There's really no comparison, actually.

Now... if only I could actually roleplay on par with my friends... I'm really quite bad at that. My execution is ALL wrong. Ugh. I'll have great plans for a scene, but because I just can't follow through, it ends up being totally awful, and lacking the impact that I had wished.

Yes. I know I'm complaining. Yes. I know I'm probably not being realistic. Yes. I know I've probably got SOME use, and maybe I just haven't found it yet. But all that's not important.

What's important is that I just don't SEE THAT.

So. Since I have a bit of time until class, I'm probably going to be poking and prodding at 'writing' and maybe I'll just end up spamming any friend's list I'm on. But, please, try to bear with me.

rargh!

Mar. 12th, 2004 02:48 am
belltrigger: (army Suoh-chan)
yes, yes, I realize no one knew the characters in that last thing I wrote. I only wrote it to warm up so I was able to write something for my Adv. Creative Writing class (which didn't work, in case you were curious) I contemplated making it so the comment function was disabled, but then apparently Livejournal did it for me o.O; weird. I changed it back, for some reason...

Ah well, maybe I will start that disable comments thing. It's a relatively useless function, I think. I have nothing interesting to say anyway ^_^; I've gotten used to writing this as if I was just writing to an inanimate object ^_- (can you tell? )

Anyhoo. Please, feel free to ignore all of my useless babble. I'm just randomly saying things. After all, it's fun to procrastinate when you have to write something up for a class you totally despise.

My complaining about myself. )

I think I'm gonna do some Baofu fanart. Only because I like him more and more as I go through Persona 2: Batsu. But that requires finding pictures of him :D;;;

... in fact, maybe I'll just do a BUNCH of Persona 2 fanart. TONS OF IT!

Ugh.

Feb. 4th, 2004 12:33 am
belltrigger: (rawr.)
>.< What a miserable day!

After my last post, everything just seemed to go downhill.

School wasn't cancelled. That wasn't SO bad, but still, I woulda been happier had it been cancelled ._.

While it was cold, and raining, and just plain miserable outside, I was waiting for my class to start by just sitting in the hallway outside my classroom. I worked on that Taiichi picture I said I'd draw for Trey-chan, but I got thirsty. Deciding I would go and get something to drink, I put my stuff in the classroom, pulled off my double layer of sweaters (because I would get hot running around the building), and took off.

On my way back to the classroom (without a drink, cause I was going to swing by the cafeteria again after checking on my stuff), the doors in the hallway closed as a siren went off. Now, you'd think that after four semesters I'd know what the hell was going on. I didn't, so I asked a women who was in front of me. She seemed rather aggravated that the doors were closing, and merely gritted out "Fire drill"

...

Okay, so long story short, I ended up standing out in 30-some degree weather with only a t-shirt x_x; Lucky for me, I managed to get outside with a group of nurses who all pitied me. They gave me an umbrella and a sweatshirt, which was SO nice.

That wasn't all, though. When the fire engines FINALLY arrived, even though there was no way in hell that there could have been that bad a fire in THAT weather, everyone where I was had to stand closer to the side of the road (we were all in a parking lot). Well, behind me was a relatively small bank of snow, so I figured I'd just put one foot on it, allowing me to lean back more than if I hadn't.

Wrong.

Seems the snow barely covered a ditch full of water. ><; My foot went through the snow into the ditch about an inch above my ankle. Hello soaked through shoe.

Well, if nearly freezing to death for forty-five minutes like that wasn't enough, I finally got inside and gave everything back, and thanked people profusely, and ran all the way back to my classroom.

Just about half of my group was not present, and the people who DID show up... Didn't do the assignment >.<; BAKA-TACHI!

So, I had to lift them up with MY having done the assignment, and hear their whining about a quiz that was announced in the last class but they didn't listen. I knew, but any studying I did was totally destroyed by my impromptu freeze.

Then, because the world has not mocked me enough, I get a big paper cut on the pointer finger of my left hand. And every time I thought it would stop, suddenly it'd start bleeding again. That went on for just about the whole rest of the class, which was about an hour and twenty minutes or so.

>.<; I wonder... if this is because I said I wanted to torture Rin >.o; He seems to have far-reaching powers like this, though you'd think he'd be a little nicer. He usually is. Maybe it's just actual karma for something I did, but don't remember ._.;

Ah well. If Trey-chan isn't online soon, I think I'm just gonna go to bed ._.

Oyasumi.

Ugh.

Jan. 29th, 2004 03:06 pm
belltrigger: (rawr.)
Apparently, I value things like "Independance, Variety, Prestige, Challenge, and Easy Commute" o.o interesting....

Yeah, I'm looking through my college's Career Service sort of thingy. Gotta get a job after I graduate (at the end of this semester). I've given up completely on finding another college. Things are just too damn expensive right now. Maybe after I get some money, I'll reenter college, but nowadays, I can't leave the state for college, because out-of-state prices are, like, four times the in-state price (one of the worse ones I've seen in my search today is in Massachusetts, where the in-state tuition is 910 dollars, while the out-of-state tuition is over 7,000 >.<; ). But staying in college in New Jersey's worse. They, of all states, had to have colleges where the in-state and out-of-state prices are exactly the same: hella expensive.

But. Before I make any REALLY hasty decisions, it's probably best if I talk to my counselor beforehand. See what she thinks about certain options and whatnot. AND, I'd probably have to have a LOOOONG talk with my parents. After all, they're the ones that allowed me to apply to various places, get accepted, even take me to campus visits so I could meet professors and other faculty, only to say that I couldn't go due to expences.

Le sigh >.<; Why the hell is college NOT FREE!? Don't they WANT people to learn? Don't they WANT to have a future with better educated people? Don't the WANT to stop being laughed at by other countries who have grade school students smarter than OUR college students? >.<;

Hm. If I go to Kean University, the tuition's rather cheap (though there are, of course, other costs), I could be a Philosophy major o.O; Or maybe a Sociology major... Of course, a lot of people (probably my mom...) will say that's sabotaging myself 9.9;

Oh, I yearn for the days when you could just be a scholar for the rest of your life... People'd look up to you, and respect you, and you'd get to keep learning. Maybe it's just because I've been in a school environment since I was about six months old, but I really prefer to be in a school setting. Not to say that I want to interact with people all that much. I just like... I dunno... learning for the sake of it.

Feh. Well, it doesn't matter. Watch all my frail hopes shatter ^^; Cause, you know, college has been a real let down. Will I really be doomed to only have a two-year, community college fed higher education? Oh, I hope not, but it's really seeming that way ._.;
belltrigger: (Toriya look alike Kanone)
"I'm an optimist, but I'm an optimist who takes his raincoat."

Quote of the day. And it fits me so well, too <3

Hm. I gotta come up with something that people can respond to... ::ponder::

Lesse, daily life doesn't work; I don't suppose that's all that interesting anyway. Anime/game reviews don't work because no one discusses anime with me ::pout:: And that might be because I know anime that people don't... or that I just talk to much, but in any case, that's not an option...

Mentioning of future plans doesn't work...

OKAY, people! I have a great idea. How about you tell ME what you wanna talk about! That way, I can cater to needs! <3 That way, this journal can be interesting... what? You think I write in a journal just so I can write my feelings down? Har har, I think not, my friends ^^ I'm writin' for responses! Selfish? Maybe, but I don't think it's really selfish... at least I don't intend it as such. All in all, I just wanna entertain any faithful readers I have...

So go ahead! Comment and tell me what you wanna hear! Be it anecdotes, stories, about my original characters (though spoilers may have to be cut out), philosophy... Heck, you can even pose questions for me or my characters to answer!

Jeez. I must say it's very weird to be begging in one's own journal.

Anyway, I've made my plea... You don't have to respond if you don't want to, but it'd really make me happy if people did <3 :3

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belltrigger

July 2013

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